Jul 2, 2015
Last week, I started talking about the topic of How to feel more confident in Relationship. A listener asked me to talk about how to deal with social anxiety, awkwardness, and embarrassment.
Most of have felt some level of insecurity, inadequacy, or lack of confidence in relationship. Here are some tips to help you feel more capable, confident, and self-assured when relating to others:
If you missed the first episode, where I talked about the first three points, you can find it here.
FIRST THREE POINTS:
1. Be aware of your posture
2, Focus on your breath
3. Balance your thinking
4. BEFRIEND YOURSELF
- Be you, instead of trying to get it right (i.e. saying the “right thing” or doing the “right thing”).
- You are good enough.
- If someone doesn’t want to take the time to get to know you, then you probably do not want to invest your time and energy into that relationship.
- You want to cultivate relationships that are reciprocal and mutual.
- Be genuine and honest. People will appreciate it.
- Exercise: Pause. Ask yourself: What do I want to do or say right now? What is natural? What is the truth?
- Love being you. Enjoying yourself is extremely attractive.
“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” E.E. Cummings
5. BUILD SOCIAL SKILLS
- Focus on the other person.
- Give eye contact.
- Ask genuine questions.
- Be curious.
- Exercise: Before going to a social event, have a few topics or questions prepared that you are interested in or would enjoy talking about.
- Great article: 12 Habits of exceptionally Likable People, by Dr. Travis Bradberry
6. BETTER DESIGN
- Know if you are highly sensitive.
- You can take a self-quiz to find out. Find it here.
- Knowing what social activities work for you rather than trying to fit into what others like. You may prefer to go for a hike or a quiet cafe versus a loud bar or restaurant.
- Exercise: Plan an social activity that you would like. Or if you plan to go to an event that is more overwhelming, take breaks (i.e. step outside for some fresh air or go for a quick walk) or give yourself permission to leave early.
7. CREATE A HABIT:
- New habits take time to develop.
- Learning something new can be uncomfortable and difficult.
- Give yourself the space to build new patterns.
- Pick one of the six areas to focus on over the next 30 days.
- Posture
- Breathe
- Balanced Thinking
- Befriend Yourself
- Build Social Skills
- Better Design
“Successful people have fear, successful people have doubts, and successful people have worries. They just don’t let these feelings stop them.” T. Harv Eker
Thank you for listening. If you have more ideas or thoughts, I would love to hear from you. Please leave me a comment below.
If you have a topic that you would like me to discuss or a situation that you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. Thank you so much for being interested in improving the quality of your relationship.
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