May 19, 2016
In last weeks episode, How To Keep Your Relationship Strong
(when she is more successful) – Part One, I discussed
findings from several research studies that explore relationship
dynamics between men and women when the female partner is more
successful. I highly encourage you to check it out, so that you
have a foundation for this weeks podcast episode.
Also, I provided the first two ways to strengthen your
relationship when she is the breadwinner. You can check out this
podcast episode here.
Here are the next 7 ways you can keep your relationship
strong: Be sure to listen to the episode to hear stories,
examples, and more tips.
9 WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WHEN SHE IS THE
BREADWINNER: PART ONE (7 OF 9):
3. Know what role money plays in your
relationship.
- What is the importance of money to you?
- Cultural values and norms will often influence your
perspective. What beliefs have you picked up on about money and
relationship?
- Is making more money associated with being more important,
having more power, being more valuable, having more status,
etc.?
- What matters most to you in life? What are your top five values
in life?
4. Know what you can provide.
- What can you provide that will be of significant value to your
partner and relationship? Typically, men want to provide what
matters most to their female partner. (Alison Armstrong)
- What do you enjoy doing?
- What do you care about?
- What are your strengths?
5. Hold value for your partner and your
relationship.
- Do you really appreciate your partner and what they offer and
contribute to the relationship?
- Do you hold the quality of your relationship as a high
priority?
- What would it be like to see your partner as a teammate –
seeing your relationship as a team? “We both have our place on
the team and that we both feel important and that we both feel
valued. And we both honor each other’s contribution to the
relationship ” Dr. Sheri Meyers
- How can you value the “we” in your relationship.
“In marriage, when we honor and celebrate each other, we’re
freed up to be the best people we can be.”
-Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott
6. Know how you impact your partner.
- How do you participate in a dynamic with your partner?
- If women are afraid of emasculating a man, then they will
tiptoe… Creating the dynamic that he can’t handle it or baby him.
“The more I trust him, then the more I rely on him, and the more I
appreciate and am grateful for everything that he does contribute,
the more manly he feels.” Dr. Sheri Meyers
- How do you feel loved? How do you need to be loved?
- How do you show your partner love and care (i.e. deep
listening, appreciation, play, and gratitude)?
7. Allow space for the masculine and
feminine.
- “Although the Breadwinning Woman may appear to be this super
independent, made-of-iron, can-take-on-anything woman worthy of a
cape, many of us can’t wait to take off the iron costume we wear
all day long and have someone care for us emotionally, physically,
and sexually. Come close and I will tell you a little secret… shhh:
We actually just want to be taken care of, we want to surrender, we
want someone else to plan, decide, execute and control… at least
some of the time. If you are a breadwinning woman, your husband
better offer more than healthy competition for external
accomplishments; he better offer some heart, some soul, and some
you know what.” Sandra Shpilberg
8. Nurture the relationship connection.
- Now more than ever before, we marry for love and connection
rather than for status or financial reasons.
- Therefore, our sense of emotional connection and bond is
essential in relationship.
- How can you cultivate warmth and closeness with your
partner?
- How can you foster more security in your connection?
9. Focus on the relationship partnership.
- How well do you and your partner work together?
- Can you collaborate and rely on each other?
- Can you negotiate mutually beneficial arrangements?
- Can you learn from your experience together, so that you can
improve your partnership dynamics?
When difficulties arise in your relationship, you can work
through the challenges to become stronger and closer as a
couple.
MENTION:
TRANSCRIPT:
Click on this link to access the transcript for this
episode: ERP 064: How To Keep Your
Relationship Strong (when she is more successful) – Part
II.
If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation
you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking
on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.
Thank you so much for your interest in learning more about
how to be more successful in relationship.
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Thank you!
If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome
relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship
Course or doing relationship coaching work
with me.