Dec 3, 2016
HOLIDAY, DREAD, AND BLUES
The season for “holiday cheer” can also be a season for stress,
anxiety and angst. We tend to put a lot of expectations on
ourselves and it can be difficult to manage these at times.
Managing our stress and expectations can especially difficult when
we are feeling down, lonely, or challenged.
(Please listen to the podcast episode or
read the transcript to hear my
stories and examples to describe these points.)
Here are some things that contribute to the holiday
stress and blues:
- Unrealistic expectations of self (i.e. amount of time you have
to give).
- Unrealistic expectations of others (i.e. quality, loving family
time).
- Comparing yourself to others and feeling inadequate.
- Previous painful memories associated with the holidays.
- Recent loss of a loved one or hardship (i.e. loss of job).
- Denying feelings of loneliness, grief, or anger.
- Isolating or feeling not good enough to share in
festivities.
- Being away from family and friends (i.e. unable to
travel).
- Evaluating your life negatively (i.e. not meeting certain
goals, disappointments from the year).
- Challenges with difficult family dynamics.
When people feel stressed, they often resort to
bad habits, such as drinking too much alcohol or caffeine, eating
too much, eating unhealthy foods, spending too much, not
getting enough exercise, and not getting adequate sleep.
5 WAYS TO COPE WITH HOLIDAY STRESS, DREAD, AND BLUES
1. Slow Down
- Breath and get centered in the moment. Your life is
happening now, not tomorrow or two weeks from now. If you are
preoccupied with the past or the future, then you are disconnected
from life and all that is available to you.
- Shut out the noise (i.e. limit exposure to advertisements).
Have discernment about what you let into your world (i.e. frenetic
shopping mall).
- Don’t overbook yourself. Say “no” to an invitation if
it feels like it will be too much. It may hurt a little to
disappointment someone you care about.
- Set your own pace. You get to decide how fast or slow you move
through your day. Prioritize your well-being.
2. Connect
- Acknowledge your feelings and connect with yourself first. Be
real about what you are feeling, what you need, and what you
desire. If you are feeling sadness or grief about a recent loss, it
is okay to take time to cry and be sad. Honor what is true for
you.
- Reach out to others. Even if you feel lonely or isolated, find
opportunities to be social and/or join in community. Even if you do
not feel up for it, you may get a lot of value from connecting with
others and feeling companionship.
- Look for moments to be present with another person. It is
surprising how looking at someone in the eyes and giving them
a smile can brighten your day.
- Get involved with a good cause and volunteer your time or
talent. Making a difference in someone’s life can be a great way to
lift your spirits. Also, you may build some new connections and
friendships by volunteering.
- Practice acceptance with difficult family members. You may wish
circumstances where different, you may wish a family member was
different, or you may wish your relationship was better, but can
you accept things the way they are for the moment. You may receive
a great sense of grace in accepting someone or something, even
if it is not what you would like or prefer.
- Connection is not always in the beauty and joy; it is often in
the pain and vulnerability as well.
3. Be You & Do You
- Be honest and real. You do not have to live up to some ideal or
perfectionist expectation. You may be in a different phase in life,
where the traditional holiday festivities don’t resonate or appeal
to you.
- Do what you would love. Give yourself the freedom to do what
feels good and meaningful to you.
- Do something different from what you have done in the past.
Change it up. Create a new family tradition or try something new
this year (i.e. “Gifts from the heart,” share photos and videos
with family).
4. Take Care
- Be gentle with yourself. It can be easy to focus on your
imperfections and mistakes, as you want to be at your best this
time of year. However, thinking negatively about yourself will only
bring you down. Try to offer understanding and encouragement to
yourself. You will feel better and make better decisions.
- Cut out activities that drain you (i.e. turn on music instead
of watching TV).
- Plan ahead and give yourself a budget and a schedule you can
stick to.
- Make a point to schedule quality time with someone who adds to
your life in a positive way.
- Get out and play. Laugh. Try to do something that brings you
joy.
5. Take a breather.
- Take breaks throughout the day to clear your mind and reconnect
with yourself. You will feel more refreshed and centered as you
accomplish your tasks.
- Build in time for restoration and relaxation. This will help
you combat the cumulative effect of stress.
- Be mindful and intentional about incorporating above tips (i.e.
slow down, connect, be you and do you, take care).
- You can choose how you move through this season. Care for
yourself and prioritize your health and well-being.
MENTIONED:
TRANSCRIPT:
Click on this link to access the transcript for this
episode: ERP 088: How To Cope with Holiday
Stress, Dread, and Blues [Transcript]
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