Aug 17, 2017
This is part two of “How To Develop The Strength Of Vulnerability.” If you missed part one, you can check it out here.
As a quick recap, in part one, I talked about how many of us have a negative association with vulnerability. We may even label vulnerability as bad and weak. Whereas, Brené Brown, through her research and teaching, helps us redefine vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.”
When it comes to relationship, paradoxically vulnerability is a huge strength.
In ERP 114, I also offered 4 tips in How To Develop The Strength To Be Vulnerable:
Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear stories, explanations, and examples.
In working with a client, who is developing more strength in being vulnerable, he speculated that we have two choices:
To help structure our conversation, I created this visual on vulnerability. This visual helps organize the different components of what is involved in being vulnerable with yourself and with others.
What does vulnerability look like?
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Open/self:
How do people see you and feel you?
Open/others:
As Brené Brown explains, vulnerability is about: “vacillating between I am here and I love you, and I’m going to reveal my innermost to you, and I am scared to death that you’ll reject me.”
In the article Why Being Vulnerable Is The Key To Intimacy by Emma Seppälä, she quotes Brené Brown “Show me a man who can listen to a woman and not try to fix her problem but rather just listen to her and be there for her, show me a woman who can sit with a man who shares this vulnerability and still love him the way he is, and I’ll show you a man and woman who are courageous and have done their work,” says Brown. “It’s about intention – ‘Can this be the safest place that we have: with each other, you can be afraid with me and I can be afraid with you.’”
In the article, Vulnerability the Key to Close Relationships, by Karen Young, she writes “When we shut down our vulnerability, we shut down the possibility. There are no guarantees. There never have been. But what is certain is that we deserve more than to have our vulnerability – the greatest vehicle to connection – shut down by fear. We cannot guarantee the outcome, but we can have faith in our ability to cope with it. Living and loving with a vulnerable, open heart will bring its own rewards.”
The intimacy we yearn for will not develop on it’s own. It requires a willingness and an openness to connect with yourself and others. As explained by Brené Brown, people with a strong sense of love and belonging believe that vulnerability is a necessity.
“What is one practice step you can take to start developing the strength of vulnerability in your life?
Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 115: How to develop the strength of vulnerability – Part Two [Transcript]
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