Feb 27, 2019
In this episode, you will learn ways to address the difficulty and uncertainty of not knowing if your partner is really “in it” with you and what to do about it. If you missed Part One, you can check it out here.
Listener:..“I’m having a few issues in my relationship with my boyfriend. He just can’t seem to stop messaging his exes. He knows I am very uncomfortable with it. We’ve broken up a few times due to this. I’m starting to think maybe I’m the issue and not him, and I don’t know what to do. We just recently got back together again, and he is doing (it) again. Maybe it’s my insecurities, maybe I should break up with him, maybe I should trust him…I’m stuck on ‘does he not care?’ ‘Does he just not love me?’ Should I break up with him?”…
Listener:..“However, I didn’t learn about it until several hours later when he ‘suddenly remembered’ and said that that was happening ‘tomorrow night.’ When I asked him why this was the first I heard of it, he said, ‘I didn’t think of it.’ I was mad that this was the first I was hearing about it, when I’ve explained that we need to discuss in advance things that are going to affect ‘us’ or our time together. I was mad that I had just said that I wanted us to do something, and it sounded like he’s planning on going to this ‘going away’ party. I felt like he wasn’t making ‘us’ the priority.He then made it worse by saying that he didn’t choose which he wanted to do yet, somehow thinking by not choosing the party it was okay. When in reality, either way, he wasn’t choosing ‘us’…”
(Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.)
Question #5: Do you have explicit agreements?
Question #6: Do you clear up miscommunications with your significant other?
CheckoutERP 018: HOW TO DEAL WITH FEELINGS OF ANGER IN RELATIONSHIP.
Feeling angry, frustrated, or irritable indicates something that matters to you. Don’t let it go, and commit to addressing it constructively with your partner.
Use the Communication Exercise as a resource.
Use a gentle, curious, and relational approach to support a safe and inviting conversation.
Question #7: Do you take care of yourself?
Question #8: Do you work toward a win-win?
MENTIONED:
TRANSCRIPT:
Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode:
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If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.