Mar 7, 2019
GUEST: DR. ROBERT NAVARRA
Dr. Navarra, Certified Gottman Therapist and Master Trainer has
co-authored book chapters with Drs. John and Julie Gottman.
Recently he published an article on systemic approaches in
addiction treatment and co-authored three articles on Gottman
Therapy with Dr. John Gottman for the Encyclopedia of Couple and
Family Therapy. Dr. Navarra created “Roadmap for the
Journey: A Gottman Workshop for Couples in Addiction
Recovery”, and “Couples and Addiction Recovery: A
Gottman Approach for Therapists, Counselors, and Addiction
Professionals”.
(Please listen to the podcast episode or read the
transcript to hear explanations, stories, and
examples.)
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE TO LEARN ABOUT:
What determines a substance use problem?
- There is a difference between frequent substance use and
substance abuse.
- There is a continuum of use from “non-problematic” to “heavy
use” to “use disorder” to “addiction”.
- To learn more you can access the safe drinking guidelines.
A note about alcohol and stress:
- People often will use alcohol to reduce stress. However,
alcohol increases and reinforces the stress system in the
brain.
- This type of use becomes cyclical because a person feels
stressed and has a drink to alleviate the stress and then
experiences more stress.
Is alcoholism a disease?
- While most people who meet the criteria for a substance use
disorder will not meet the criteria again in four years.
- Whereas other people with continued and consistent use will
experience significant changes in their brain structure which will
constitute an addiction and a disease.
What happens if one person is using or drinking and it
is an issue in the relationship?
- Get information and education about the guidelines of substance
use.
- Have a conversation. Invite your partner to talk with you.
- Bring up the topic of concern with your partner in a
non-blaming way.
- Here is what my concerns are…
- Here is what it means to me…
- See about coming to some agreements together.
- The person using may be willing to modify their use. If they
are not willing to modify their use, then it might be important to
explore why they are not willing to modify their use.
- Look at risk factors (i.e. family history of substance abuse
issues, use over time, increased use, daily use, etc.)
In the first year of recovery, what should a couple be
aware of together?
- Relapse rates are the highest in the first year, especially in
the first 3 months.
- Continued support from loved ones and family members is one of
the highest predictors for success.
- Having a substance-free home environment is critical for the
recovery process.
- People in recovery often feel an involuntary thrust towards
using. Their brain has been hijacked by the disease, and they do
not have the normal stop-go mechanisms in their brain.
- People in recovery have strong emotional memories and
triggers.
“Relationships need attention in this transition (into
recovery). Let’s not abandon couples when they need it the most.”
Dr. Navarra
What promotes healing in the relationship?
- Relationship-care and self-care can help the person in recovery
manage the disease better.
- Acknowledge the stigma and shame.
- Get support, so that you can engage in healing and constructive
conversations.
- Discuss these questions in a non-blaming way:
- What has the impact of addiction been on you? And the
relationship?
- What is the impact of recovery been on you? And the
relationship?
- See the addiction as an intruder on your relationship.
- How has the uninvited guest impacted you, your partner and
your relationship?
-
Attend Dr. Navarra’s workshop “Roadmap For
The Journey” to have H.E.A.R.T (Healing Emotions Addiction
Recovery Trauma) conversations to heal addiction trauma.
-
When couples can emotionally attune and the listen to the
painful emotions of one another, then begin to build trust
together.
MENTIONED:
TRANSCRIPT:
Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode:
If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact
me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.
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Thank you! ❤
If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome
relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program
or engaging in relationship
coaching work with me.