Jul 29, 2019
Last week’s episode (177), I discussed how difficult it can be when feeling distressed, threatened, and reactive to engage in comfort with a significant other.
As one of my clients puts so well “Why would I want comfort from you, when you are they one that is causing me pain!”
Many of us did not get the experience of having comfort when we were young. Thus, we developed ways to deal with it, but more importantly, we don’t have an internal system that we can trust to turn towards comfort and soothing in relationship.
In episode 177, I offered some of the research to help give some general guidance in how to offer comfort.
It is worth noting that there are typically some gender differences to consider, when offering comfort.
Here is an article that might be helpful when contemplating how to offer comfort to a man: How to Comfort a Man, Co-authored by Paul Chernyak, LPC
For women, I would point to the tips mentioned in episode 177:
(Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.)
Today, we are going to explore how to offer comfort to your partner in ways that are specific and unique to them.
In successful relationships,“Both partners seem to have read and carefully studied the owner’s manual for their relationship and for each other.” by Dr. Stan Tatkin
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