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Nov 22, 2022

Do you find yourself easily triggered by your partner’s actions or tone? Perhaps he or she really did something offensive, or maybe that’s just how you perceived it. Sometimes, you don’t even understand why you’re upset.

As you've probably heard a lot of times, relationships aren't always glitz and glamour. It's more of an attraction that, once you've established safety and gone a little deeper, differences begin to surface. At this point, many would presume that their love for their partner has waned or that they made the wrong decision.

Although discomfort in intimate relationships just flies in your face, these relationships also serve a deeper purpose: emotional healing and spiritual development. You learn so much more about yourself in a relationship than you could on your own.

In this episode, Dr. Susan Campbell discusses triggers, including how they manifest, the reasons behind our emotions, and—most importantly—the five steps to trigger mastery that she outlined in her most recent book.

Susan is a best-selling author of 12 books and is the creator and publisher of three entertaining and educational card games for couples, families, work teams, and singles. Susan’s work with couples has been featured on national television, including CNN’s News Night, Good Morning America, and The Dr. Dean Edel Show, and she has been widely published in popular magazines. In 2003–2004, she was the couple therapist on the reality TV show, Truth in Love, which aired on UPN, an ABC affiliate network.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode

 5:23 The couple’s journey and how it can be an opportunity for healing.

12:04 How to work with triggers in a way that is inviting.

13:05 Getting more comfortable with emotional discomfort.

33:23 How to deal with triggers that will inevitably arise in a relationship: co-triggering vs. co-regulation.

41:48 Dr. Campbell's five-step trigger mastery: from triggered to tranquil.

46:30 Why is it in your best interest to make your partner feel secure?

49:18 Your inner good mother archetype.


From Triggered to Tranquil: How Self-Compassion and Mindful Presence Can Transform Relationship Conflicts and Heal Childhood Wounds (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)

Five-Minute Relationship Repair: Quickly Heal Upsets, Deepen Intimacy, and Use Differences to Strengthen Love (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)

Getting Real: Ten Truth Skills You Need to Live an Authentic Life (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)

The Couple's Journey: Intimacy As a Path to Wholeness (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)

ERP 305: The Surprising & Powerful Benefits of Learning to Tolerate Discomfort — An Interview with Dr. Anna Lembke

Relationship Map To Happy, Lasting Love

Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication

Connect with Dr. Susan Campbell





Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins






Twitter: @DrJessHiggins 



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