Sep 15, 2017
Over the last several months, I have been getting questions from listeners around the issue of trust and how to build trust in a relationship. While trust is fundamental to the success of happy, lasting love, many of us are at a loss of how to develop it.
In last weeks episode, I offered you 2 of the 5 tips in how to build trust with your partner. I encourage you to check it out if you missed it.
Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear stories, explanations, and examples.
Trust can feel like such a big, diffuse topic and it can be difficult to pinpoint “what is trust.” To help with this, I discuss Brené Brown’s talk on The Anatomy of Trust, where she offers important components of trust, which is based on her research and findings.
To explain what trust is, Brené Brown gives us an acronym to work with: B.R.A.V.I.N.G.
THE ANATOMY OF TRUST, BY BRENÉ BROWN
B – Boundaries
To know what works for you and what does not work for you, and the
ability to set limits with people. We are clear about the other
person’s boundaries and we respect them.
R – Reliability
We do what we say we’re going to do, and we can reply on each
other…over and over again. It also means being aware of our
limitations and not committing to more than we can handle.
A – Accountability
We take responsibility for our part. When we make a mistake, we are
willing to own it, apologize for it, and make amends. When the
other person makes a mistake, we allow them to own it, apologize
for it, and make amends.
V – Vault
We have discernment of what we share with others. We hold each
other confidence. In our relationship, we both show that we
acknowledge confidentiality by also not sharing secrets third
parties have shared with us.
I – Integrity
We behave in ways that are consistent with our values and
priorities, even if it is uncomfortable, inconvenient, and/or
difficult. We choose what is right over what is easy and fun.
Integrity is “practicing your values, not just professing them” by
Brené Brown.
N – Non-Judgement
When I am vulnerable, I can turn to you. I know you will be there
for me when I am struggling or hurting. I know I will be there for
you when you are down, in pain, or having a difficult time. We
foster a safe space by withholding judgment and offering care.
G – Generosity
We have each other’s best interest in mind. We believe in each
other and we give each other the benefit of the doubt. In moments,
where we have wonder and question about something, we make a
generous assumption or at least suspend judgment.
Check out Brené Brown’s talk on The Anatomy of Trust to hear her stories and description as she breaks down the components of trust.
Next week, I will offer you 3 of the 5 tips in HOW to build trust with your partner.
MENTIONED:
- ERP 118: How to build trust with your partner (podcast)
- Brené Brown’s The Anatomy of Trust (video of her talk)
- Photo by Dane Deaner on Unsplash
TRANSCRIPT:
Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 119: How To Build Trust With Your Partner Part Two [Transcript]
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If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me.