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Apr 16, 2016

Monika is a licensed therapist and relationship coach promoting healthy, authentic relationships from the inside-out. She specializes in helping people change their limiting beliefs at the subconscious level, creating much deeper change than in traditional coaching methods. She works mostly with women who
are in long-term relationships in crisis, to help them create their desired relationship by first changing their own default modes. Her coaching programs guide individuals through four stages of change that are required for truly authentic, empowered relationships.

In this episode, Monika talks with us about essential keys to shifting your relationship approach, so that can set your relationship up for success. She talks about the “default modes” that get in the way of our ability to show up for a healthy, authentic relationship. She defined “default modes” as the habitual ways we respond to things that are based on old programming.

4 STAGES OF CHANGE:

Monika talked about her approach to helping people create relationship change in their lives with these four stages.

1. Self-Awareness: Getting honest with yourself, taking ownership of your limits, desires, needs, and challenges. Really getting to know yourself.

2. Expression: Expressing yourself authentically. Gaining the tools to express who you are to another person in relationship.

3. Hold the space for your partner’s expression: Receiving your partner. Getting your filters out of the way, so that you can hear who your partner is as a separate person. Separate from the past and what has already happened in your relationship. Staying present in the moment.

4. Getting into unity: Getting on the same team. Move out of the “me” versus “you” mindset and into the “we” mindset. The whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts.

Monika shares her own story and turning point in relationship, where she chose a path of personal and relationship transformation. Be sure to listen to the episode to hear more points and tips.

MENTIONED

TRANSCRIPT:

Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 060: How To Step Up To A Healthy, Authentic Relationship With Monika Hoyt.

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.

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If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me.