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Apr 28, 2020

Terry Real is a nationally recognized family therapist and author. Particularly known for his groundbreaking work on men, his work on gender and couples. He published the national bestseller: I Don't Want To Talk About It, the first book written on the topic of male depression. He has been in private practice for thirty years and he is the Founder of The Relational Life Institute, where he teaches therapist trainings and workshops for couples



In this episode, Terry Real and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: 


  • How men need to find the courage to be vulnerable in order to achieve the intimacy required to maintain a healthy relationship. 
  • The false forms of self-esteem that many of us operate under, versus the inside-out knowledge of our essential worth as human beings. 
  • How shame and grandiosity both stem from a feeling of unworthiness and the different ways they wreak havoc on relationships.
  • How to quiet the inner critic and practice self-love.
  • The need for a paradigm shift from a dominant style of masculinity to a cooperative, ecological, and humble masculinity. 


"Here's what I want to tell you. I used to be you, I spent most of my life loathing myself. I spent most of my life bouncing back and forth between inferiority and superiority. I did not like being alone in my skin. It was not fun to be there. And what I want to tell you is I'm no longer there. I am happy in my own skin, and I earned that. Nobody gave that to me. And you can earn it just as easily if you do the work" —  Terry Real 





Fierce Intimacy

Evolutionary Relationships

Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication

The Long Shadow of Couples Therapy


Connect with Terry Real: 


Facebook: Terry Real - Relational Life Institute - Home

Books: I Don't Want to Talk About It  The New Rules of Marriage  How Can I Get Through To You?

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: 






Twitter: @DrJessHiggins





Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. 

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If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.