Jul 20, 2021
Authentic relating refers to how you express your own authentic
self, the way you seek the same from your partner, and the dynamic
created in between. Sara Ness, an internationally acclaimed
facilitator, teacher, and community-builder popularized the field
of Authentic Relating through the use of authentic relating
games.
The values of authentic relating include awareness, empathy,
honesty, and the importance of creating space. Not only does this
help romantic relationships blossom into their most authentic
forms, but it also helps multinational organizations like Google,
Mindvalley, and Burning Man grow in authentic leadership and
communication.
Sara Ness wrote the source text for Authentic Relating and
has worked with tens of thousands of students
in more than 100 communities on every continent except
Antarctica.
Check out the transcript to this
episode in Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.
In this episode:
- 04:12 Authentic relating involves 3
perspectives: ourselves (authenticity), the other person and how we
relate, and the space in between. There is a constant feeling out
of how much of our authentic truth we bring and seek, and the
synergy between.
- 08:39 Authentic relating games like Withholds
and Appreciations allow you to look at your relationship instead of
simply being in it. These exercises reveal, through honest
communication, relationship patterns that may act as barriers
in relationship.
- 13:11 The Noticing game puts to words the
feelings, sensations, and lines of thoughts you have with your
partner. It reveals the idea of presence in connection with someone
else.
- 18:04 Authenticity has layers and is
congruent to the values we are committed to. Your values will
dictate the level and kind of authenticity you respond from.
- 22:00 Authentic relating exercises are
also effective within multinational companies like Google, as well
as the addiction recovery space and diversity discussions.
- 25:08 It is even possible to use
authentic relating games to actually meet your romantic partner
because it teaches how to set boundaries, make requests, and
discover your values within a relationship.
- 30:54 Knowing what helps you recover from
a trigger before it even happens is one of the most powerful things
you can do in relationship.
- 33:36 Making a request is about changing
behavior. This must be navigated caringly as different people and
social cultures may have different ways of communication. Space
must be created for these behaviors to change.
- 39:40 The act of making request is
complex and involves vulnerability. Sometimes there is a need to go
through conflict to figure out what your request truly is.
- 43:37 How to get in touch with Sara and
learn more about Authentic Relating
Mentioned
Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins
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interest in improving your relationship.
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